


A Bad Case of Frost Bite

by WriterOfFates



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, punny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 10:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2578514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterOfFates/pseuds/WriterOfFates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick gets himself in over his head and his puns are not helping the situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bad Case of Frost Bite

Nightwing tried to peer down through the skylight into the warehouse, but the winter frost coated it too heavily. He sighed, “O. You’re sure there’s activity going on in here?”  
  
“Massive surge of electricity being used and no legitimate reason for it.”  
  
“I can’t see in at all…” Dick sighed, “I guess I’m going in blind.”  
  
“If it’s any consolation, I’m not reading many heat signatures from inside.”  
  
“Not really. I’d rather have fifty thugs than one Deathstroke.”  
  
“Well, last I heard, Wilson was in Africa, so I think you’ll be okay on that front. You could always wait for backup. Batman and Robin are a half hour away.”  
  
“No, B has a sting set up for tonight that he’s been brooding about for months. Why did RR have to pick tonight of all nights to go to Metropolis.”  
  
“I could try and convince Batwoman to assist you, but I’d have to hack into her communications first.”  
  
“No, it’s fine. I can do this alone. Talk to you later, O. I’m going in.” Dick worked away at the ice around the window until he could pry it up and ease his way in.  
  
It was brightly lit inside, and Dick crawled his way into the nearest shadowy corner to try and figure out a game plan. The inside of the warehouse was coated in ice, the doors all sealed shut with it from the inside. Dick shivered even in his insolated suit and peered around. Not spotting anyone, he turned on the heat vision in his domino lenses, scanning the room. He spotted a clump of people shaped heat signatures, off in what looked like an office, but none in the main room. He crept carefully forward, making sure to keep an eye open for any movement, cameras or traps.  
  
Not spotting any danger, he dropped down, swearing softly as he landed shakily, the ground too icy even for the tread on his bat-certified boots. He stayed still, listening for any unusual sounds and watching for even the slightest movement. Not noticing anything, he carefully straightened up, moving over to the blinking console closest to him. He pressed a finger to the communication device in his ear. “O? It seems to be Freeze. He’s got some sort of super computer running.”  
  
“Can you get me into it?”  
  
“I can try.” He looked the computer over, running his fingers over it lightly.  
  
A crunch of ice was his only warning, and he spun just as there is a flash of light. His hands froze mere inches away from him being able to reach into his gauntlet for something to get him out of this, and he swore, stepping back as the ice spread quickly from his hands up his arms and too his torso. He threw himself to the side as there was another flash of light. Ice spread across the machine behind where he had just been. He crawled as best he can with a useless upper body on ice.  
  
“It is unfortunate for you that you interrupted my work on this night, former boy wonder.” Nightwing managed to pull himself behind one of the other consoles. “I had not been intending to test my new weapon for a few more days. I am glad that it appears to work without trouble though.”  
  
“Nightwing. Nightwing what is happening?”  
  
Dick didn’t reply, trying to hear past Oracle’s voice in his ear to make out Victor Fries’s footsteps. He breathed heavily, then shoved himself away from the console, sliding across the ice as Freeze shot at where he had just been. He tried to scramble to his feet as he slowed, but Freeze turned the weapon directly on him and shot.  
  
Ice caught one of his feet, trapping him. Freeze moved closer and shot him again and again, until Dick was encased in ice up to his shoulders, body frozen in sitting position to the ground.  
  
Mr. Freeze inspected his freeze ray. “Yes. It works quite satisfactorily.”  
  
“Nightwing!” Oracle shouted in his ear. “What is your situation?!”  
  
Freeze sighed and bent down, plucking the device from Dick’s ear and looking it over for a moment, before crushing it in his palm. “However, the favor you have done me by allowing me to test my weapon does not make up for how much you have inconvenienced me with your presence.” Freeze turned away from Dick as several thugs raced towards them. “Half of you chip him loose from the floor and then dispose of him away from here. The other half, help me pack up the computers. We will have to move bases, since they no doubt will be sending others to this location.”  
  
A handful of thugs break away from the others, trotting to go grab icepicks. Dick sighed, hoping O would find someone to come unfreeze him soon, as he felt the cold creeping into him even through his suit.  
  
Dick sighed even more heavily as some of the thugs approached, “If only I hadn’t… frozen up… I wouldn’t be in this situation.”  
The thugs ignored him, one of them bringing out a blow torch and getting to work unfreezing his block of ice from the floor.  
“Oh man, don’t give me the… cold shoulder.”  
  
Freeze sighed and looked over at the man, “Please do not.”  
  
“Awww… don’t go cold on me.”  
  
“Nightwing, if you pun at me, I will freeze the rest of your body, and that will kill you.”  
  
Dick shut his mouth, watching the man in the cryogenic suit turn away from him. “You don’t have to… freeze me out…” he muttered. One of the thugs thumped him in the back of the head with the butt of his ice pick. Dick bit his lip as his vision exploded with stars momentarily.  
  
The one with the blow torch sat up and held it near his face. “I am not afraid to remove your tongue with this and let me tell you it would be very, very painful.”  
  
“Okay, okay I get it. Chill out.” The man turned the blow torch on and Dick leaned his head back as much as he is able. “No, I really got it this time, I will try and go against my punny nature.” He shut his mouth and gave the man an innocent smile. The thug scowled at him before going back to his work. Dick gritted his teeth, frustrated with himself. He hated waiting. But there he was. Not able to do anything else.  
  
It seemed to take forever for them to finish, but finally, with one final solid kick from the blow torch thug, Dick’s ice block broke free and slid across the floor. Already, Freeze and his helpers had most of their machines loaded into a truck that had been backed into the warehouse. A van was driven in and some of the thugs pushed Dick towards it. In between grunts of effort, the thugs discussed what to do with their captive.  
  
“Should we toss him into the harbor?”  
  
“What good will that do?”  
  
“Drown him and get it done with.”  
  
“He’s in ice you dumbass.”  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
The blow torch thug stopped and stared at the one he had been speaking with. “Didn’t you ever take no science class?”  
  
“Science? Pfft. I didn’t have time for that shit.”  
  
“Well if you had, you’d know ice floats.”  
  
“Oh. So what do we do with him?”  
  
“I dunno, we’ll figure it out after we get him in the van.” A few minutes and a lot of grunting and swearing later, they managed to get Dick in the back of the van, though only after dropping him several times. Dick’s vision was still swimming when he heard the truck with Freeze’s machinery start up. He saw it starting to pull away as the thugs moved to close the can doors but as it began to move, he heard glass break from above and a shot ring out, one of the tires of the truck exploding.  
  
“Shit!”  
  
“Is it the Bat?”  
  
“That was a gun, you dumbass!”  
  
“The Bat doesn’t use no guns!”  
  
Shouting and gun shots drowned out the rest of the words as the thugs grabbed for their own guns and Freeze aimed his ice ray. Dick struggled to try and shift his block of ice to get a view of what was happening when he saw a figure in a brown leather jacket and red helmet drop down from the ceiling on a rope, kicking a thug in the face as he neared the ground, knocking him into another thug. Red Hood hit the ground and rolled, sliding into a kneeling position as he shot out the other tires of the truck. He dove to the side to avoid a blast of ice from Mr. Freeze and Dick heard Jay’s laugh even over all of the noise as it hit one of the thugs instead.  
  
“Hood! Behind you!” Dick shouted and he sighed in relief as Jay spun in time to kick the approaching thug in the stomach, sending him skidding back across the icy floor.  
  
“Take the vigilante and go!” Freeze shouted as he sent blast after blast at Jay. Dick shouted a protest as the back of the van was slammed shut and the van started up. The driver stepped on the gas hard and Dick’s ice block slid, slamming him hard into the back door. His head spinning again, he tried to struggle against the ice, swearing. As the thugs tried to drive their way through their comrades towards the exit, Dick got slammed into first one side of the car and then the other.  
  
He felt, rather than heard, the tire of the van being shot and exploding and he prayed as the van tipped that he wouldn’t get his head caved in. He and his ice block slammed into the side of the car as it hit the ground and his vision went black. He could hear the sound of the vehicle scraping against the ice under his ear, and he felt the abrupt jerk that must have been the wall halting the momentum. He could hear shouting and gun shots still from outside, and moans from the cab of the van. He struggled slightly and could feel the ice cracking around him.  
  
He froze, then jerked into motion, ignoring how it made his head hurt, trying to crack the ice around him as much as possible. He heard the crash of glass from the front of the cab and screaming from much than before. Dick got an arm free of the ice and pulled a wingding from his gauntlet, chipping away at the ice as he struggled. He could feel the cold seeping deeper into his bones, and knew that soon, even with a suit like his, he would be in real danger from the cold, especially added on top of the warm blood he could feel seeping from his head.  
  
Suddenly, the back door of the van was flung open. Dick blinked against the light, squinting to make out the shape. The person stared at him for a long moment before rushing forward, and they were kneeling beside Dick before it clicked that they weren’t trying to kill him.  
  
“Jay…” Dick could hear the shudder in his own voice.  
  
“Oi. I know you didn’t get knocked around enough to be that unprofessional.” Jay pressed a gloveless hand to Dick’s face, who leaned into the warmth. “Shit… You’re freezing…”  
  
“Badum… t-tsss…..”  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
Dick gave him a weak smile as Jay started to pound away at the ice.  
  
“Shit, Bird Brain, you really got yourself stuck…”  
  
“Yeah…” Dick let his head fall back and his eyes slide closed.  
  
“Hey!” Jay snapped, his hand, the glove back on, going to the back of the neck. He squeezed lightly, lifting Dick’s head up, “Talk to me. You like chatter. So do it.”  
  
“Mr. B-blow T-torch threatened my tongue if I punned…”  
  
“Well if Mr. Blow Torch was the one driving, he’s won’t be threatening anyone anytime soon, since I broke his jaw and his fingers.”  
Dick chuckled, struggling to open his eyes again. Jay smashed the butt of his gun into the ice around Dick’s torso, sighing in relief as it shattered away. He yanked his jacket off, wrapping it around Dick, tucking his arms against his chest and zipping it up.  
  
“I’ve got you, Bluebird… I’ll get you out of this…” He smashed away at the ice trapping Dick’s legs and lower body.  
  
“So… c-c-cold…”  
  
“I know. I know. It’s okay… It’ll be okay…”  
  
“How’d… you know to come…? O… doesn’t have… your number… does she?”  
  
“I happened to tune into the right frequency at the right time.”  
  
“Bull.”  
  
“Yeah, I know, I’ll come up with a better excuse later.” More of the ice shattered away and Dick was able to shift his legs around.  
  
“Almost… there…” With a few more smashes, most of the ice fell away. Jay immediately lifted Dick into his arms. “Let’s get you somewhere warm…”  
  
“Yeah…” Dick’s eyes slid closed under the domino again and his head lolled against Jay’s chest as he slid into darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> The second batfam christmas fic I wrote last year for the exchange, this one had been for Myrina, of http://myrina-lux.tumblr.com.


End file.
